Personal Effectiveness – Page 2

July 10, 2020July 12, 2020

Narcissism: The good, the bad and the ugly

When self-confidence crosses a certain threshold it turns into narcissism. Here are some ideas on separating the “healthy” aspects of narcissism from the “unhealthy” ones.

Healthy	Unhealthy
Feels good about oneself, even if others criticise	Needs constant reinforcement from others to have a sense of wellbeing
Copes with life’s many setbacks, allthough may be thrown off balance for a short time	Reacts to the hurts and injuries of life with fits of depression or rage.
Feels confident about his or her own talent	Needs to feel superior to everyone else, and seeks out recognition for that superiority
May be stung by criticism, but the hurt soon passes	Incensed by criticism, and broods for long periods about it
Appreciates praise, but does not live for it	Has an insatiable craving for adulation; seeks compliments to feel momentarily good about oneself
Self-esteem is unfluctuating, even after rejection, disapproval, or personal attacks	Reacts to rejection, disapproval or attacks with bitter rage or deep depression
Does not believe he or she is entitled to special or favoured treatment	Feel entitled to special treatment because they are not ordinary
Is sensitive to the feelings of others	Is insensitive to what others need or feel
Open to the possibility of being wrong: welcomes dissenting views	Closed to other perspectives: surrounds self with “yes-people”

For useful resources see:

Confirmation Bias And the Power of Disconfirming Evidence Farnam Street

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Mayo Clinic

June 26, 2020June 26, 2020

Reflection in Action: Reflection on Action. What is it that we do when we do what we do?

What is it that we do when we do what we do?

Donald Schon introduced many of us to the power of reflection in The Reflective Practitioner: How Professionals Think in Action. He drew on earlier work by John Dewey to demonstrate how you could draw insights from experience through reflective practice. What is it? Why is it useful?

Schon defines reflective practice as the practice by which professionals become aware of their implicit knowledge base and learn from their experience. He uses three terms:

knowing in action
reflection in action
reflection on action

June 19, 2020

Say No. Stop. Walk Away.

In the present world of the virtual office and working from home, it is easy to fall into bad habits.

Here is a great post by Michael Thompson – Want to raise your confidence? Learn to walk away. This is one of those wake-up call articles. We all try to push through and fight resistance when the going gets tough or when we are trying to finish a job – and our energy lags and our productivity falls away.

So, does it really impact our output, our achievement, and our sense of self-worth if we stop and walk away? Here’s a couple of quotes from Thompson. How are you doing in the COVID-disrupted work spaces?

“…I’ve failed to realize that developing the discipline to stop is just as important as finding the motivation to start.”

“Today I have done enough and tomorrow I’ll finish what I’m working on — and it’ll be better for it.”

“Do you want to know what spurs my best ideas? My wife. My kids. My friends. Good conversation. Green grass. Tall trees. A run. A book. Life.”

Yet every evening when my energy is running down, and what I am working on will be better tomorrow — my wife still has to call my name three times before I finally sit down to eat a cold dinner that was once warm.

It’s a quick and fun read – go for it

June 16, 2020

Nanus on developing yourself as a leader

Since most people “per se” are mediocre, true leader can be recognised because, somehow or other, their people consistently turn in superior performances. Superior managers have the ability to create high performance expectations that ultimately subordinates fulfil.

How can you get there?

Seek leadership responsibility early and often.
Find a mentor or role model.
Develop farsightedness. Create a sense of vision.
Master the skills of interdependence. They’re more important than the skills of competition.
Become a world citizen, learning the languages and cultures of others.
Develop personal character, integrity, and trust.
Seek varied job assignments.
Think like a researcher, develop a sense of curiosity and creativity.
Design a leadership job carefully, knowing their goals.
Have fun at what you do.

Source: Nanus B (1990) The Leaders Edge (US: Contemporary Books)