The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to respond.

I don’t know the exact origins but for many years now I have often said to colleagues that we have two eyes, two ears and one mouth, and that is the proportion in which we should use them.

The management literature abounds with entreaties for us to listen better, to develop listening skills, to be reactive listeners, and to listen first before speaking.

But have we learnt the lesson? Experience would suggest not.

The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to respond. (Stephen Covey) Continue reading “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to respond.”

How to run a good meeting (Those who learn to lead learn how to participate.)

Here are some tips on how to run a meeting:

  • Prepare, prepare, prepare.
  • Know what you want to achieve.
  • Provide as much information in advance as you can.
  • Make certain everyone knows why they are there.
  • Don’t compete with attendees.  Give their ideas precedence over yours.
  • Listen to everyone.  Paraphase, but don’t judge. Respect their voice.
  • Don’t put anyone on the defensive.  Assume that everyone’s ideas have value.
  • Control the dominant people without alienating them.
  • Realize that your interest and alertness are contagious.
  • Listens with spirit.
  • Keep an open process where all can see what is agreed and what is expected of them.  Keep notes visible (on flip charts or a board or the screen) for all to see.
  • Check with the person who owns the problem to find out if an idea is worth pursuing or if a proposed solution is satisfactory.
  • Give others a turn at running the meeting.  Those who learn to lead learn how to participate.

If this is all a bit cryptic for you – see this great resource from the University of Kansas.

If you can’t edit chances are you can’t write effectively

Editing is a key to writing.  Always edit.  Don’t just finish and send.

Whenever you write something, you should know how to edit and polish your own copy.  Here are some idea:

Content.  Make your purpose immediately clear.  Don’t force your reader to wade through several paragraphs before understanding why you wrote the piece.

Brevity.  Cut every word that adds nothing to meaning.  Examples:  Change “during the course of” to “during” and “few in number” to “few”.

Clarity and precision.  Don’t use vague adjectives when specific ones are called for.  Don’t write, “We received numerous inquiries.”  Instead write, “We received 145 inquiries.”

Tone and style.  Make sure your words sound as if they come from a human being – and not an institution.  For example;  instead of writing, “Further notification will follow,” write, “I’ll keep your informed.”

Variety.  Avoid starting each sentence with the same part of speech, such as a noun or pronoun.  Caution:  Don’t try to start each sentence with a different part of speech.  Just strive for some variety. Mix it up a bit just don’t just jumble words. Avoid repetition.

Paragraph strength.  It is desirable that each paragraph deals with only one topic.  Including too many topics will make your reader work too hard.

A note for the CEO: You communicate even when you are not communicating!

Here is a little story from one of my favourite leadership practitioners, Max De Pree, that reminds us that what a leader does is important. 

I often found  the CEO job a rather lonely life where every move is under someone’s observation.  But rather than letting this develop into a sense of strain or tension, it is important to remember that if your actions reflect your words (or intentions) then you are being authentic and effective.

Esther, my wife, and I have a grand-daughter named Zoe, the Greek word for “life”.  She was born prematurely and weighed one pound, seven ounces, so small that my wedding ring could slide up her arm to her shoulders.  The neonatologist who first examined her told us that she had a 5 to 10 percent chance of living three days.  When Esther and I scrubbed up for our first visit and saw Zoe in her isolette in the neonatal intensive care unit, she had two IVs in her navel, one in her foot, a monitor on each side of her chest, and a respirator tube and a feeding tube in her mouth.

To complicate matters, Zoe’s biological father had jumped ship the month before Zoe was born.  Realising this, a wise and caring nurse named Ruth gave me my instructions.  “For the next several months, at least, you’re the surrogate father.  I want you to come to the hospital every day to visit Zoe, and when you come, I would like you to rub her body and her legs and arms with the tip of your finger.  While you’re caressing her, you should tell her over and over how much you love her, because she has to be able to connect your voice to your touch.”

Ruth was doing exactly the right thing on Zoe’s behalf (and, of course, on my behalf as well), and without realising it she was giving me one of the best possible descriptions of the work of a leader.  At the core of becoming a leader is the need always to connect one’s voice with one’s touch. (my emphasis)

Reference:  De Pree M O (1991)  Leadership Jazz.  Melbourne: Australian Business Library, Information Australia. pp.1-3